Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. All of us love to receive compliments as they validate us. However, sometimes situations arise that make us rethink our self-perception and submit to negative beliefs about ourselves. As we grow up, we realize the ramifications of such negative thinking but as children, we lack the tools to prevent such thoughts from leaving a harmful imprint on our minds.
Our children are conditioned to form their self-perception on the basis of how others perceive them and what they hear about themselves. While this conditioning can be used to empower them, often it unwittingly enables negative self-talk in children that compels them to see themselves in a negative light. Negative self-talk comprises self-deprecating things that a person tells themselves in their head. It precludes our children from wholeheartedly believing in themselves and their ability to do something successfully. It takes a toll on their self-esteem and confidence and engenders a sense of inferiority. Further, it suppresses their willingness to grasp opportunities as it convinces them that they cannot do anything without messing it up. When negative self-talk becomes a regular habit, the child becomes prone to blaming themselves if and when something goes wrong. While positive self-talk is constructive and encouraging, negative self-talk deeply alters a child's sense of self.
During our growing years, what we hear most frequently about ourselves underpins our perception of self. When children hear adults endlessly emphasize their incompetencies and bad habits, they begin to see these remarks as true definitions of their potential and ability, It becomes easier to subscribe to these notions when even the voice inside their heads start reiterating the same statements. A child who grows up with this negative self-talk will inevitably have a harder time loving themselves and will be more likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.
According to studies, negative self-talk has precarious effects on the physical and mental well-being of children. In order to protect our children from this tendency, as adults, we need to explicitly tell our children to believe in themselves no matter what the voice inside their head tells them. We have to make them realize that ups and downs are inseparable parts of life and it's incorrect to allow them to define us. Our evaluation of self-worth has to come from what we do and how we react to things. We need to teach our kids to not let negative emotions like disappointment, sadness, guilt, regret, and worthlessness take over our minds because there is a lot more than that to us. Since negative self-talk in children is often seen as a product of fear, it's necessary that we address the fears they hold and try to help them reach effective solutions in order to overcome them.
Lastly, it's crucial that we normalize making errors and be open about our own mistakes and pitfalls in front of our children. In this way, our children will realize that making errors is a part of life and therefore, all the negative emotions they experience are normal and not something that's exclusive to them. Negative self-talk severely impacts a child's ability to believe in themselves. During their initial years, it's important that we address these negative voices in their head so that they don't have to carry their burden till later in their lives.
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